Anonymous asked: Is this blog still active? Because it's funny as hell.
Yes! Sort of! Things have been pretty hectic lately in my life, just started a second job, plus started something else that will provide a lot of material for this blog, if you know what I mean… ;)
In the meantime, continue to send me your advice questions and I’ll do my best to answer them as I can. <3
Thanks!!
Anonymous asked: My friend was recently at work and a customer left her number for him unprompted. What should he do?
Wow, congratulations to your friend! It appears that he has successfully navigated a Flirtative Encounter, which is a wonderful accomplishment. Bravo!
It depends wholly on your friend’s intentions/reaction. Does he plan on pursuing this unexpected potential romance? There are several paths he could take.
1. Serious
Sometimes love at first sight happens and that is a beautiful thing. This is something that should be immediately pursued and chased before it can escape. What does he know about this customer? He must take all of this information - phone number, name, etc, and find out everything he can online. It must be assumed, of course, that she is doing the same thing, because this level of true love can only be mutual. Finding everything possible about her before properly meeting ensures the speeding up of the dating process; it allows them to skip all of the tedious and boring getting-to-know-you stuff and skip right to the classic and passionate romance!
Only until he is an expert on her (and, it is assumed, she is an expert on him) should he actually call her.
2. Apprehensive
What, you expect him to actually call her?! Why would you make him do that?! Worst. Idea. Ever.
3. Hopeful but Phone-phobic
Do enough research to find out where she lives, at the very least. Instead of calling her, he should instead stand below her window, teen romcom style, and blast something romantic. This will make her fall madly in love with him. No call necessary!
These are, at least in my experience, the three main paths to follow once one receives positive results from a Flirtative Encounter. However, if your friend has some sort of different, unnatural reaction, let me know! And we can try to figure out some different path to take. Together~!
Anonymous asked: it's my significant other's anniversary tomorrow - how can i make the sex extra romantic?
It’s almost springtime… the flowers are blooming… the sun is shining more… the birds are coming out to sing… all around us, the miracle of life is happening. What’s more romantic than life itself?
To make your sex extra romantic, consider choking your partner to death. Not too much, though, or the next part won’t work. Give them CPR (try to resist the urge to use tongue, though!!), and when they’re properly revived, say “Hey baby, if that’s what my mouth can do for your lungs, just think what it can do for your genitals.”
Your partner will fall in love with you all over again.
If you eat like crap, you’re going to taste like crap. But if you’re terrible on top of that…
Anonymous asked: I'm a gay dude, but that's not really important except to add a joke to the following sentence. I'm a meat eater and I always will be. It's a part of who I am. However, I keep landing people that are vegetarians or (dare I say it) vegans. Should this be a deal breaker or is there a way I can work around this?
Hm, it’s always an issue, figuring out how to have your vegetarian/vegan partner join you as sexually carnivorous. It’s a matter of sort of easing them onto it, like exposure therapy really.
You need to take advantage of bacon’s roll as the gateway meat. Tightly roll up strips of bacon to put in his mouth. This will take some time to accomplish, of course. When he can comfortably do that, take a few bacon strips and wrap them around your penis. Make sure to wrap it in a way that no skin etc shows through. When your partner can comfortably put your bacon-wrapped penis in his mouth, then you can finally remove the bacon and have him eating your bare meat.
Does anyone have any personal experience, good or otherwise, at getting your partners to start eating meat??
Anonymous asked: Would you make an exception for James T. Kirk? What about Batman?
Well, for Kirk, honestly I’d just ask him to please take off his clothes and then sit in a chair in front of me so I can stare at him for hours.
Batman I’d consider, but he’d probably wanna break my legs or punch me in the face or something and honestly I’m really not into that.
Anonymous asked: What should I listen to during sex?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mbj27i3HPeM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPnGPIMUnus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcUi6UEQh00
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUwvhOaojoc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_izvAbhExY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obgswSg292c
and then just finish with the entirety of this:
